(no subject)
Novel translation by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sunnyskies; Full Chapter text here
He woke up because his head was hurting horribly. Before he could even wonder where he was, Makoto's voice reached his ears.
"Haru, are you awake? Haru!"
Haruka didn't even think of telling Makoto that his voice hurt his ears. He couldn't even object to being fussed over. Makoto's voice flowed over him naturally, just as it always did.
Haruka tried to focus his eyes, but it didn't work very well. His head still hurt. His body felt heavy. Even so, because he wanted to tell Makoto I'm awake now, so don't worry, he began trying to form words.
"Where…am I?"
"You're in the hospital."
"The hospital?" The fluorescent lights are really bright, he thought. When he tried to figure out why he might be sleeping in the hospital, it made his head hurt again.
"Haru, are you all right? Your mom will be coming soon, okay? We got in touch with her a little while ago."
Haruka was finally starting to be able to see Makoto's face clearly. When he did, he realized that there was another person behind Makoto. Rin was standing there silently, his face unusually serious. On a hanger beside him, something white was fluttering in the breeze from the air conditioner.
Is it the curtain? No, it's thinner, a different kind of cloth… --the scarf! The moment he remembered that, his memories returned. He immediately tried to get up, and his whole body protested.
"Don't! You can't push yourself like that. You have a fever of forty degrees."
Haruka wanted to know. After he had fallen in the river, what circumstances had brought him here? He wanted to know right now. "Yazaki?"
Aki had been on the riverbank, and had probably seen the whole thing. But Aki was nowhere to be seen.
"If you're wondering what happened to Zaki-chan, I think she went home. But I'm sure she's worried about you right now."
"What happened to me?"
"Just as Matsuoka-kun and I were crossing the bridge, we heard Zaki-chan yelling. When we went to see what was wrong, you had fallen into the river." After that, the two of them had hauled Haruka up onto the embankment together, while Aki had called the ambulance. Makoto and Rin had ridden in the ambulance, and Aki had called the swim club and Haruka's house. Even though she had looked as if she were about to cry, Aki had carried out the task given to her with a stout heart.
"So make sure you go and talk to Zaki-chan later, too, okay?"
On the bed, Haru nodded once. He wanted to ask Makoto to explain everything to him. Listening made his head hurt, but he intended to act unconcerned for as long as he could.
"After that, they told us that you had influenza, Haru."
Something as stupid as that got me into this situation? Haruka thought, extremely annoyed.
"Well, I'm going to go call the doctor." Makoto opened the door and left, and it suddenly became quiet inside the hospital room. All that could be heard was the noise of the air conditioning and Haruka's rough breathing. Haruka realized for the first time that he was out of breath.
Haruka looked at Rin. He was still standing silently, his gaze slanted down toward the floor. Next to him, the scarf fluttered.
"Matsuoka…thanks." The words came out so honestly that Haruka even surprised himself.
Rin just gave a small nod, and didn't try to look up at Haruka. From then until the time that Makoto returned, the only sounds were of the air conditioner and Haruka's breathing.
Being exposed to the cold air outside made him remember just how warm it had been inside the hospital. As Rin walked, he put his numb hands into the pockets of his jacket. His legs felt strangely heavy. He couldn't breathe very well. But he had finally caught up to Makoto, who was walking in front of him. He tried calling out to Makoto.
"…Tachibana." It felt like it had been forever since Rin had used his voice. At the very least, this was the first time he had since they'd come to the hospital.
"What is it, Matsuoka-kun?"
"I…"
"Hm?"
Rin hesitated. Without pressing him, Makoto waited for what Rin would say next. In the interval, Makoto continued walking, without letting his feet stop. Slowly, as though he was waiting for Rin to catch up to him.
"I was seriously scared." Those were Rin's honest feelings. Even now, the feeling of being scared continued. It made him feel like all of his insides were moving wrong, and they wouldn't stop. He had thought that his lungs would draw breath, and that his heart would beat, even if he didn't put any particular thought into it. But right now, he felt like if he didn't take deep breaths, all of his functions would just stop. "I was so scared that I couldn't even figure out what to do."
Makoto turned and gave him a smile. Raising his upturned eyebrows, he smoothly kept walking while facing backwards. "It's going to be okay. They said it's just ordinary influenza. It hasn't turned into pneumonia, so he'll get better soon."
Rin thought that Haruka's situation was very serious. It was true that when he had seen that Haruka had fallen into the river, he had panicked. He had been hasty, and had lost his presence of mind. But what was making Rin feel scared right now wasn't any of those things. "No, not about Nanase. About you, Tachibana."
"What?" Makoto stopped walking. He was meeting Rin's honest gaze straight-on, but he was still smiling. He almost looked as if he wanted to ask whether Rin was joking.
"When we pulled Nanase out of the river, you were shaking, weren't you?"
"Was I? It feels like I was dreaming, so I can't remember very well." Makoto turned to face forward and started walking again.
Rin watched Makoto's back, thinking He was definitely shaking back then. Though he had been able to give precise orders to Rin and Aki, Makoto had been shaking so hard that there was no way to miss it. His hands, his legs and his face - they weren't shaking from the cold, but because he was afraid of something. Even while they were riding in the ambulance, Makoto had gripped the hem of Haruka's shirt, shaking and calling Haruka's name the whole time.
Rin had never seen anyone that terrified by something before. The sight had stuck deep in his heart, and now his body wouldn't work the way he thought it should.
Without saying anything more, Rin kept walking behind Makoto. If Makoto said that he didn't remember, then Rin wouldn't interfere. He didn't want to forcibly pry into things that Makoto didn't want to talk about. That was why he didn't intend to enquire any further; Even if I did ask, it wouldn't make much difference, he thought.
While they were waiting at the bus stop, and after they got on the bus, as well, the two of them stayed silent and didn't meet each other's gazes.
Rin pushed the bell at his stop and stood up to get off the bus two stops before Makoto did. "See you."
"Yeah."
For just that one second, Rin looked at Makoto's face. He looked the same as always. His upturned eyebrows were raised, and he was smiling just as he always did. Maybe I was worrying too much. Rin got off the bus, and suddenly all the strength went out of his body. He took a deep breath of the evening air, and stared after the bus as it drove off into the red sunset.
As soon as Rin left the bus, Makoto's hands started shaking. Something that had been stretched to breaking inside him had suddenly snapped, and his hands were shaking so hard that he couldn't do anything to stop it. Before long, it circulated through his body, and his legs, his chest, and his face trembled, and even his teeth were chattering. He held himself tightly with both arms. No matter how hard he squeezed, the trembling wouldn't stop. No matter how firmly he clenched his teeth, his lips shook. Soundlessly, tears were pouring down his cheeks, and Makoto couldn't do a thing about it.
sunnyskies; Full Chapter text hereHe woke up because his head was hurting horribly. Before he could even wonder where he was, Makoto's voice reached his ears.
"Haru, are you awake? Haru!"
Haruka didn't even think of telling Makoto that his voice hurt his ears. He couldn't even object to being fussed over. Makoto's voice flowed over him naturally, just as it always did.
Haruka tried to focus his eyes, but it didn't work very well. His head still hurt. His body felt heavy. Even so, because he wanted to tell Makoto I'm awake now, so don't worry, he began trying to form words.
"Where…am I?"
"You're in the hospital."
"The hospital?" The fluorescent lights are really bright, he thought. When he tried to figure out why he might be sleeping in the hospital, it made his head hurt again.
"Haru, are you all right? Your mom will be coming soon, okay? We got in touch with her a little while ago."
Haruka was finally starting to be able to see Makoto's face clearly. When he did, he realized that there was another person behind Makoto. Rin was standing there silently, his face unusually serious. On a hanger beside him, something white was fluttering in the breeze from the air conditioner.
Is it the curtain? No, it's thinner, a different kind of cloth… --the scarf! The moment he remembered that, his memories returned. He immediately tried to get up, and his whole body protested.
"Don't! You can't push yourself like that. You have a fever of forty degrees."
Haruka wanted to know. After he had fallen in the river, what circumstances had brought him here? He wanted to know right now. "Yazaki?"
Aki had been on the riverbank, and had probably seen the whole thing. But Aki was nowhere to be seen.
"If you're wondering what happened to Zaki-chan, I think she went home. But I'm sure she's worried about you right now."
"What happened to me?"
"Just as Matsuoka-kun and I were crossing the bridge, we heard Zaki-chan yelling. When we went to see what was wrong, you had fallen into the river." After that, the two of them had hauled Haruka up onto the embankment together, while Aki had called the ambulance. Makoto and Rin had ridden in the ambulance, and Aki had called the swim club and Haruka's house. Even though she had looked as if she were about to cry, Aki had carried out the task given to her with a stout heart.
"So make sure you go and talk to Zaki-chan later, too, okay?"
On the bed, Haru nodded once. He wanted to ask Makoto to explain everything to him. Listening made his head hurt, but he intended to act unconcerned for as long as he could.
"After that, they told us that you had influenza, Haru."
Something as stupid as that got me into this situation? Haruka thought, extremely annoyed.
"Well, I'm going to go call the doctor." Makoto opened the door and left, and it suddenly became quiet inside the hospital room. All that could be heard was the noise of the air conditioning and Haruka's rough breathing. Haruka realized for the first time that he was out of breath.
Haruka looked at Rin. He was still standing silently, his gaze slanted down toward the floor. Next to him, the scarf fluttered.
"Matsuoka…thanks." The words came out so honestly that Haruka even surprised himself.
Rin just gave a small nod, and didn't try to look up at Haruka. From then until the time that Makoto returned, the only sounds were of the air conditioner and Haruka's breathing.
Being exposed to the cold air outside made him remember just how warm it had been inside the hospital. As Rin walked, he put his numb hands into the pockets of his jacket. His legs felt strangely heavy. He couldn't breathe very well. But he had finally caught up to Makoto, who was walking in front of him. He tried calling out to Makoto.
"…Tachibana." It felt like it had been forever since Rin had used his voice. At the very least, this was the first time he had since they'd come to the hospital.
"What is it, Matsuoka-kun?"
"I…"
"Hm?"
Rin hesitated. Without pressing him, Makoto waited for what Rin would say next. In the interval, Makoto continued walking, without letting his feet stop. Slowly, as though he was waiting for Rin to catch up to him.
"I was seriously scared." Those were Rin's honest feelings. Even now, the feeling of being scared continued. It made him feel like all of his insides were moving wrong, and they wouldn't stop. He had thought that his lungs would draw breath, and that his heart would beat, even if he didn't put any particular thought into it. But right now, he felt like if he didn't take deep breaths, all of his functions would just stop. "I was so scared that I couldn't even figure out what to do."
Makoto turned and gave him a smile. Raising his upturned eyebrows, he smoothly kept walking while facing backwards. "It's going to be okay. They said it's just ordinary influenza. It hasn't turned into pneumonia, so he'll get better soon."
Rin thought that Haruka's situation was very serious. It was true that when he had seen that Haruka had fallen into the river, he had panicked. He had been hasty, and had lost his presence of mind. But what was making Rin feel scared right now wasn't any of those things. "No, not about Nanase. About you, Tachibana."
"What?" Makoto stopped walking. He was meeting Rin's honest gaze straight-on, but he was still smiling. He almost looked as if he wanted to ask whether Rin was joking.
"When we pulled Nanase out of the river, you were shaking, weren't you?"
"Was I? It feels like I was dreaming, so I can't remember very well." Makoto turned to face forward and started walking again.
Rin watched Makoto's back, thinking He was definitely shaking back then. Though he had been able to give precise orders to Rin and Aki, Makoto had been shaking so hard that there was no way to miss it. His hands, his legs and his face - they weren't shaking from the cold, but because he was afraid of something. Even while they were riding in the ambulance, Makoto had gripped the hem of Haruka's shirt, shaking and calling Haruka's name the whole time.
Rin had never seen anyone that terrified by something before. The sight had stuck deep in his heart, and now his body wouldn't work the way he thought it should.
Without saying anything more, Rin kept walking behind Makoto. If Makoto said that he didn't remember, then Rin wouldn't interfere. He didn't want to forcibly pry into things that Makoto didn't want to talk about. That was why he didn't intend to enquire any further; Even if I did ask, it wouldn't make much difference, he thought.
While they were waiting at the bus stop, and after they got on the bus, as well, the two of them stayed silent and didn't meet each other's gazes.
Rin pushed the bell at his stop and stood up to get off the bus two stops before Makoto did. "See you."
"Yeah."
For just that one second, Rin looked at Makoto's face. He looked the same as always. His upturned eyebrows were raised, and he was smiling just as he always did. Maybe I was worrying too much. Rin got off the bus, and suddenly all the strength went out of his body. He took a deep breath of the evening air, and stared after the bus as it drove off into the red sunset.
As soon as Rin left the bus, Makoto's hands started shaking. Something that had been stretched to breaking inside him had suddenly snapped, and his hands were shaking so hard that he couldn't do anything to stop it. Before long, it circulated through his body, and his legs, his chest, and his face trembled, and even his teeth were chattering. He held himself tightly with both arms. No matter how hard he squeezed, the trembling wouldn't stop. No matter how firmly he clenched his teeth, his lips shook. Soundlessly, tears were pouring down his cheeks, and Makoto couldn't do a thing about it.